What once was

The air that I breathe,

The voice that I crave,

The agony I feel when you go away,

You are my future,

You are my heart,

You fill my eyes with tears with just one look,

In a trance beyond passion,

Gasping for air,

So heartbroken because you no longer care,

How much more can a person bear?

Before the pain becomes numb,

As the world continues to spin,

The truth is known now without words shared,

And the lights seem dim without you here,

Nothing can compare to the love we shared,

You were my air,

You were my life,

You were my future,

You were my…wife.

Because...

Do you not miss my voice?

Miss my touch,

Wonder what it means when I say…

“I miss u so much”

Is it too much?

What was once?

Completely out of control with one touch,

Can’t trust it,

 But want it,

Aim to hate it,

 But love it,

Say no,

Then yes,

Say go,

Then stay,

Full of joy,

With tears of pain,

But can’t deny your warm embrace,

Wanting you to stay, and remain,

Can’t let go,

Even though you cause the most pain,

So heavy, and fragile in the same,

Discontent until you say…

Forever I will love you,

Forever I will stay,

Forever I will want you,

Forever I will remain.

©Sha-Eisha Jones October 2011

A True Friend

From that moment I knew it,

And there was nothing I could do about it,

As a friend I had to say that it was ending,

I could see the tears as they glistened down the cheeks,

And silence spoke,

As the heart began to speed,

The pain piercing the chest,

And the mind splitting itself,

Thoughts at a halt,

 And the world spinning,

Nothing that mattered before taking a new meaning,

And it’s true,

And it’s real,

Incomparable pain is felt from more than one,

As the eyes stream a flood of shattered promises,

Can’t bare it by yourself anymore,

Wanting more,

 Getting less,

Wondering what ever happened to bliss?

No more fantasies,

You have begun your test,

Taking on the challenge of emptiness,

It had to be said,

To make steps forward,

Bring things back to a reality,

No longer pretend in dreams and fantasies,

It’s the end,

And that’s it.

To Cherish

Almost unimaginable,

Completely unforgettable

The swift touch of the soft hands,

As it soothes the inner beast within,

It cannot pretend,

The honesty is easily given,

And the feelings are raw and real,

Give in, give in…

Whispers the winds,

The surge between the two cannot be denied,

No matter what the world has to recognize,

Time stops as hearts pound loud,

Drowning out the sound around,

Bringing that feeling that is preserved,

Cherished and hunted,

But rarely found,

Sacred to those who understand its gift,

Left by those who don’t explore its secrets,

Captured and sealed by those who honor beauty,

Sweet and lovely,

Pure as rain,

Enjoyed and hated because it carries pain,

Careful steps towards the precious jewel,

An honest heart allows it to bloom,

Sacred to those that gives it, its rights,

Secured by those who never let it out of their sight.

It’s Too Much

The last story,

The last page,

Closing chapters of illusions,

Can’t go backwards,

Forgotten for a time,

Then reopened,

Bringing that pain back inside, because of words spoken,

Time dripping as slow as a broken faucet,

Wondering had that not happened if the chest would still be open,

Can’t breathe,

Can’t focus,

Everything moving in slow motion,

Was ready to leap forward for a slight moment,

Reality hitting hard taking all the emotions,

No reasoning, and just action,

No matter what will have a reaction,

Couldn’t grasp the tears falling from the unknowing soul,

Trying so hard to get a grip and bring things back into control,

This is why you don’t follow and live by emotion,

Desires are empty lies to leave you broken,

Logical actions with guidance is a protection,

To prevent a heart from being deceptive,

Knew for a minute the words not spoken,

Go with the flow is what people say,

But sometimes lack of patience causes you to go astray,

Actions of others quickening the pace,

Losing sight of stable grounds,

Advice given to a convicted heart,

Stop! Wait! Slow down your thoughts…

Tripping over caution, but still moving forward,

Time going fast hastening death closer,

But still taking you down the windy road of confusion,

Was somewhat unsure for a time,

But now you’re becoming certain,

All from a moment a very rare moment,

That no one can fathom until it happens,

Looking and waiting because that’s all you can do,

Hoping and wanting it all to come true,

What should you do, no one has the answer,

Now going beyond and taking chances.

No Reservation

He just, he just can’t give in,

Even though he wants to he still depends,

On the comfort and familiarity of the one who’s been,

Always by his side, even at his worst moments,

Scared and confused on if he should let you in,

Wondering if he does…

 Will you hurt him, like he hurt them?

The words so sweet to a heart so guarded,

Breaking down walls that never felt emotion,

Can it be?

Is it real?

Thinking to himself he shouldn't cross without the right equipment,

Letting the emotions guide the soul,

Can be very dangerous if you lose control,

He’s holding back because she still holds…

That comfort love that keeps him calm,

That expectant love that doesn't go beyond,

That dependable love that’s as constant as time,

This is what he thinks he needs…

 For his heart to agree with his mind,

But just for a moment let’s pretend that he did,

Just for a second let unreserved love intermingle from within,

Allow himself to explore a possibility unknown,

And attain just a moment’s bliss of unrestricted love,

Yes he would feel out of control,

Yes he would stretch further than before,

Yes he might fall out just as fast as he fell in love,

But if he never tries’s he’ll always wonder what it was… 

Just Thinking

Not knowing just flowing as the days spin,

People changing and you feel open,

Stuck in place, pacing as you think from within,

Surprise, surprise what the world brings,

Shaken from routine, uprooted from stagnancy,

Unaware of the effects your words play on others,

Quiet so quiet tip toeing on eggshells afraid of the outcome,

Hearing from a distance the truth of a soul’s whim,

Losing focuse and stumbling upon fragmented memories,

Wanting to feel focused chocking on words unspoken,

Hoping for new motions, to breathe the life into an open space,

Sugar coated lips speak of that which is unreal,

The light from within dimming as months turn into years,

Thinking this change is supposed to bring more happiness,

Impatience driving towards temporary blissfulness,

Is it the purpose, life, game, change,

Unsure and sure of the sacrifice you made,

Couldn’t remember, but now you do,

Aaaah, it’s all coming back now piece by piece,

Now your misplaced, exposed, with memories released,

Does it set you free?

Are you meant to be?

Live life to the fullest is what people think,

No one holds themselves responsible when they act on their true feelings.

My Garment Speaks

My precious pearl of beauty and poise,

Come put me on so I can enjoy,

The subtle breeze to cool you in the heat,

To protect you from the evil of enemies,

To sway with you as you glide gracefully,

To remind you as you start to speak,

I am here close and soft,

To be your comfort in a world lost,

I’m your identity of dignity and honor,

I’m your shield from the predators who want to devour,

Your cloak of beauty to be respected and known,

As a believer of the One Lord,

So come put me on so I can enjoy,

The melody of your recitation as you pray to Allah,

I am yours so don’t leave me behind,

I am your second skin to assist in Daw'ah from afar,

I am your soul’s shelter from the evil within,

I will cover you from unwanted sin,

Your cloak of obedience, to the one who created you,

Your covers of humility as you slip through the streets,

So be proud of me, not ashamed,

I represent a part of your faith,

Oh my precious pearl you are to be preserved,

And I am that soft cloth to keep you shiny and pure,

You won’t be annoyed when you walk with me,

I am your cloak of reality,

For those who have, and those who haven’t seen,

They wonder with awe how you look underneath,

But don’t give in, stay a mystery,

Being shielded by me keeps them intrigued,

As the seasons change I will still be here to explore,

The coolness of the breeze as it dances underneath,

The warmth of the sun when the spring awakes from sleep,

The extra layer I provide when winters at its peak,

The rustic colors we explore as I match the falling leaves,

So come put me on my precious pearl,

So I can enjoy striving with you to please our Lord.

© June 2011 Sha-Eisha Jones

The Unintentional

Why oh why don’t you fear your Lord?

He created you and will take you whenever He wants,

But you spread whispered words without sound proof,

Making people who are striving doubt what to do,

Allowing shay’tan to use you,

and put division between those joined,

To look with curious eyes, and suspicious thoughts,

You say “oh but I mean well,

it’s coming from the goodness of my heart,”

Yeah that might be the case,

but how did innovations get started?

Be cautious and aware of the perception of those who trust you,

You are using your tongue,

 to hurt those who don’t even know you,

Beware of the shay’tan learn and know his scheme,

Division is his aim; we are weak if we’re not a team,

So protect yourself and others,

who are battling to know this deen,

It’s ok to research and find truths for yourself,

But before you share them,

address directly those in question,

Ask Allah to forgive us, for we make many mistakes,

Make it easy on your sister in Islam,

She’s striving so hard to grow,

But how can she attain truth,

while gossip overshadows her goals?

Oh my dear, please listen to my sincere advice,

Don’t allow shay’tan to control your tongue,

and break a foundation that’s striving to please their Lord.

Striving

Honesty streams endlessly through her veins,

Filling her heart with conviction to obtain,

Relief from the hardships she has to face,

Blind as she walks the path of uncertainty and blame,

Reliance on her shoulders with every step that she takes,

She just has to find the courage to continuously believe,

That verily along with every hardship, is relief,

Moving forward as worry toils her soul,

Conviction propelling her to move on, and let go,

 The affliction reminding her that nothing last forever,

The resiliency within her determined to make things better,

Staying strong at her weakest moments,

Looking past the hardships with patience as her keys,

Unlocking the rewards and bounties Allah has for her to receive,

Unshackled from the burden of worry and woes,

Certain now that with faith she can become,

Victorious in this world,

And the next,

For verily along with every hardship, is relief,

To put her soul at rest.

It’s Within Me

Words of empowerment,

Soothing the soul,

Lighting the mind,

Uncontrolled rhythm pumping the heart,

Rearranging the play of a scene,

Perpetrating a defining moment captured between

 lust and love,

Honesty and lies,

Weakness and strength,

Bringing you high into elevations

Of emotions untapped,

Complex even undetermined

By the reality of life,

Not mentioned except between a few,

That can understand the power words

Can have on you,

Engulf you into visions unseen,

Draining all your energy,

And leaving you relieved,

Can you feel me?

Do you know how this passion

Consumes the soul,

Once you begin your uncontrolled,

Freedom of the pin in love with the soul,

Wrapped in warm hands,

Caressing the pages,

Oh! How words so vast,

So deep,

Still can’t explain this,

The passion,

The realness,

The rawness from within,

All unleashed by a stroke of a pen,

Remnants of ink on the edge of the pinky,

From this essence that is beyond you and me,

This is my passion,

My melody of sound,

My boundless expression,

My crave of poetry,

Unreserved for a certain crowd,

Do You Feel Me?

Seeking…

Days drifting,

As sands breeze by the shore,

Sun setting,

Moon rising,

Life taking its course,

Rhythm making,

Coasting along the winds,

Life dreaming,

Love sleeping,

Whispers shaking within,

Alone in the cast of shadows,

Forgotten songs of prisons afar,

Wondering when,

Wondering how,

Wondering why it’s gone this far.

Please...Don't

Don’t tell me it was the alcohol that made you lie,

Don’t tell me it was the alcohol that kept you from trying,

Don’t tell me it was the alcohol that made you forget the time,

Don’t tell me it was the alcohol that made you deny it,

Don’t tell me it was the alcohol that put you in this place,

Don’t tell me it was the alcohol that you can’t remember what happened,

Don’t tell me it was the alcohol that made you get up and fight,

Don’t tell me it was the alcohol that put bruises on her face,

Don’t tell me it was the alcohol because that’s not the truth,

The alcohol only enhanced what you already wanted to do,

Gave you the excuse to break all the rules,

Now you want sympathy for things you chose to do,

The alcohol didn’t convince you to pick up the glass,

The alcohol didn’t keep you saying “ok, this is my last”

The alcohol didn’t make you do anything it was all you,

So don’t tell me it was the alcohol,

While were in the hospital praying she pulls through.

He Cries

Raindrops stream down the window Pane,

As he looks beyond in a trance,

Where did he go wrong he can’t understand,

What happened yesterday cannot be erased,

Why, oh why can’t he change his ways,

Make confessions a reality instead of a dream,

Unfortunate of how his life is playing,

Going further into his mind as he battles the pain,

Unsure how to begin again,

Trying to stand up after falling,

Tears streaming down his face,

Can’t remember love after causing so much grief,

How can he come back to truth with falsehood surrounding?

How can he open up with honesty forgotten?

Lost in his thoughts as people stare,

Hesitant to turn around and face them in tears,

The past once the present seems surreal,

Even though time moves forward he’s stuck in place,

His mind fighting to become his peace,

As smiling faces whisper through their teeth,

He’s completely lost on how he will live on,

Cold is all he feels as grey skies cover his faults,

Warm hugs embrace him as he puts up a front,

Feeling like a young boy who just woke up from a bad dream,

But only worse because his nightmare is a reality,

As raindrops stream down the window pane,

His secret tears are carried into rivers unclaimed.

Please Don’t Leave

Staring out the window,

The day so clear,

It was time to change,

 The path I was living,

abandoning my soul left me empty,

feeling the darkness start to consume me,

being convinced by the shaytan’s whispers,

“It’s ok; it’s not that bad,

This is a little sin; you could be doing so much worse.”

Knowing that fuel was taking me further away from my Lord,

I had to return to Him,

But was I to far gone?

Feeling as though my Lord was leaving me to fend on my own,

I knew I would lose completely if I kept going on,

But where would I start?

How could I face Him now?

Full of shame from the things I’ve done,

I knew I had to try,

For the truth I could no longer ignore,

Desperate and aching,

My soul crying and begging for Allah not to leave me alone,

I needed a release, but where to began,

Shaytan’s whispers soothing my vain desires,

Saying “listening to music never hurt no body,”

Oh beware of the cunning instruments,

It will take you places you never knew exist,

First you’re in the privacy of your home,

Then you’re in the car swaying to the tunes,

Then a conversation about your favorite jam,

Next it’s a club, and you’re wondering

“Now how did I get here?”

And then you get home and reality hits,

What did you do to become so disobedient?

But don’t lose hope,

This is your chance,

This is that clear day where change can began,

Make your wudu, make your intentions,

There’s still time to ask for forgiveness,

To not revert back to that which you did,

But say that’s it, I know my Lord is forgiving,

So turn to Allah, and He will turn to you,

Don’t let Shaytan convince you,

that you’ve done too much wrong for Allah to answer you,

Allah say’s remember me, and I’ll remember you,

Ask me for forgiveness, and I will forgive you.

I’m Covered

Smooth, flowing thru the wind,

Gliding as I walk as if I’m floating,

Elegance of style and beauty,

This is my garment, my garment of security,

Veil of the unseen,

Hiding and preserving the jewels beneath,

Covering and protecting my identity,

This is my garment, my garment of security,

Undetected as I walk through the streets unknown,

Feeling at ease in trying to please my Lord,

Thankful to Him for giving me the understanding,

 This is my garment, my garment of security.

Sensual

That essence,

That, I can’t speak in your presence,

That quiet kiss,

That calming strength,

That sensual warmth,

That essence,

That, I can’t breathe in your presence,

That heart afloat,

That eye a tear,

That kiss sealed,

That essence,

That, I can’t escape in your presence,

That honest smile,

That endearing stare,

That melodic tone,

That essence,

That, I can’t live without your presence.

Unknown Secret

my passion for you is getting deeper and deeper,
My feelings for you can no longer be a secret,
I hear you calling when you’re not around,
I’m destined to see you,
Can’t you hear my heart pound?
As you walk into my presence,
And embrace me in your arms,
My eyes light up and twinkle,
Like golden stars,
My blood races faster than the speed of light,
My arms take control as I hold you so tight.
Then you let go and stare into my eyes,
And before I can kiss you,
You turn and say goodnight.

My Love,Your Love

My love so pure,

It sings like the winds,

My love so strong,

It pumps your heart within,

My love so quiet,

It whispers like waves,

My love so true,

It brings you pain……

And then I wonder about your love.

Your love so pure,

It stops my tears,

Your love so strong,

It erases my fears,

Your love so quiet,

It stays a dream,

Your love so true,

It makes all of me.

Brown eyes

Brown as the rich wood,
I wonder if I could,
dive into the warmth between those,
wrap myself inside those,
brown as the wooden trees,
I think your seeing right through me,
toppled with all mysteries,
I'm loving how the deepness seems,
diving deeper with no control,
brown like hickory smoke,
I'm wanting to stay beyond your eyes,
so I can see inside your mind,
waiting for u to say one word,
I'm lifted away by your sublime smirks,
inside those deep brown eyes,
I'm wondering if I can catch you by surprise.

The Matrix

I feel sorry, so sorry for you,

your so deaf, dumb, and blind

you don't know how to choose,

a puppet held up by strings,

a empty brain technically trained,

confused and persuaded by the T.V.,

no words of your own,

emotionally triggered by everything,

obeying and trusting those trained to hurt you,

not believing and trusting those who love you,

angry at those who you are told will hurt you,

not doing research to seek the real truth,

I feel sorry, so sorry for you,

so compliant, so passive,

so adjusted to what they say to do,

I feel sorry, so sorry for you,

being taught from birth to believe

 that your life is what you choose.

The Poetry Escape

Dear reader,

      I would first like to thank you for taking the time to explore "The Wonders of Words", let me begin by telling you a little about myself. I've always enjoyed writing poetry since the age of 9 years old.Writing poetry has always allowed me to indulge in visions of my mind and execute that vision through the beauty of words without limitations. No rules, no boundaries just words of emotion expressed through my fingertips, and felt through the essence of my heart and soul. Thus writing poetry, has become my therapeutic escape into a boundless world where words can be spoken without consequence. I have never shared my poetry in a public manner such as this, but i feel ready. I'm looking forward to taking you with me into the essence of limitless expression, and emotion. So come escape with me and enjoy "The Wonder of Words."

Lovely Memory

Walking upon soft petals in a trance,

consumed in the memories of the past,

delicately defining every detail,

waiting, anticipating as calmness surrounds, 

moving slowly, gliding near,

the warmth surrounding as if your still here,

morning rays shining bright from within,

vision embracing the spell unwritten,

as beautiful as ice crystals cascading from above,

two passion's intertwined before spoken words,

overwhelmed with awe at such elegance,

eyes meet and sway into motion,

faint whispers from behind walls,

raindrops fall into ripples of love.